So drunk its hurt
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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