every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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