Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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