Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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