You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
