well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
