Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
