Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
