Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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