Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
