He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
