Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
