you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
