just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize