at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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