I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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