frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
