omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
