his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize