she was so not down for the gang bang
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
