Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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