I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
