last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Who died my cat blue again?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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