You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
