yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize