apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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