if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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