We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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