p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
