i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize