Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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