just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I did not marry a roomba.
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