If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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