he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
