TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
