girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
