We're facebook friends in real life
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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