Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
