On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sacagawea was the original milf.
two words...techno handjob
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
