Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize