after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
