so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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