She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
