Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
