Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
