hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
