We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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