Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
