Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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