evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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