It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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