how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
