So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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