There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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