two words: eviction party
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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