So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We just shotgunned beers for America
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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