im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
how does that bad decision feel?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize