Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
