why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
