HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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