Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Randomize
