uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize