I seem to have left my pride at pride
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize