I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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