She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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