Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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